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McDonald’s is for Breakups

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MIFBBC2NBThis short book (approximately 35,000 words) consists of a collection of essays on dating, love, and relationships.

Available on Amazon.

Available on Barnes & Noble.

In case you are wondering about the title of the book, in real life I am a philosophy professor and in one of my Aesthetics classes we were discussing Hume’s infamous paradox of taste. During the discussion, I mentioned how Hume claimed that various factors could affect a person’s aesthetic sensitivity. For example, a person who is biased or prejudiced will not judge a work fairly. I also gave an analogy: how factors like illness can affect the taste of food and this is what Hume had in mind. As happens a bit too often, I couldn’t resist a random anecdote and mentioned how a friend once told me that if you plan to break up with someone, never do it at a good restaurant. This is because you will not be enjoying your meal and neither will s/he. Naturally, I had to add “so, McDonald’s is for breakups.” I’m not sure why, but that phrase struck me as funny and inspired me to publish this book.

Here is an example of how this principle works:

Dude: “Hey, baby. Let’s go out to eat. We need to talk about something.”
Lady: “Oooh…let’s go to Chez Expensive!”
Dude: “No, baby. No. I’ve got a surprise for you.”
Lady: “Oooh! Is it Le Super Chez Expensive Maximus?”
Dude: “Not quite, baby.”
Lady: “Hey, this is McDonald’s! You’re breaking up with me, aren’t you?”
McDonald’s Minion: “Welcome to McDonald’s. May I take you order?”
Dude: “Yeah, gimme two number 34s.”
McDonald’s Minion: “The breakup combo meal?”
Dude: “Yup. Hold the pickles.”
Lady: “You weasel!”
Dude: “Shut up and eat your breakup burger, baby.”
Lady: “Die! Die! Die!”
Dude: “Hey, you made me spill my fries!”

The book contains the following essays:

Introduction
Men, Women & Communication
Men, Women & Communication II
Thoughts on Online Dating Sites
Maybe It Is Me…But Maybe Not
Complex versus Complicated
Buying a Wife?
Polygamy in Heaven
Foundations
Settling
DNA & Dating
Broken Resolution
Opportunist Feminism
Seduction & Manipulation
Habituation
Sex, Love & Money
Appearance & Relationships
The Ethics of Prostitution
Mobile Phones & Hierarchy
Dating Rules
Quick Break Ups
Rick Warren & Gay Marriage
McDonald’s is for Breakups
Valentine’s Day
40/60/75
More Thoughts on the Five Love Languages
Promoting Marriage with Tax Dollars
A Successful Relationship
Are You Are Hose Monkey?
Throwing it Away
Three Types of Cheaters
Spotting Cheaters
Responding to the Cheater
The Ex
Breaking Up
Sugar Mamas
The Procreation Argument
Attraction & Clarity
Epilogue

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Written by Michael LaBossiere

March 1, 2013 at 2:44 pm

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